Raw and Uncut: Part 1

I want to first start this off by giving my story (or testimony). This will help to give a background on me and an idea of what I have gone through and will shed a light on the reasons why I am currently struggling with certain issues. These events are from my point of view in how I saw them. I was born in 1983 in Atlanta, GA. I am also a twin and the younger one by one minute, my brother's name is Thomas. I grew up in a home that was Christian went to church, but I only went and did not really care too much about understanding what was written in the Bible or what they were teaching. I started off going to a Methodist Church and then once I was playing sports, which included baseball and basketball, we switched and starting going to a Baptist Church that held the sports. I made lots of friends through the churches, but still did not really care about God's word. While I was about 7, my parents ended up getting divorced. One night after the divorce, my dad broke into our house and ended up having an argument with my mom which got to the point the cops had to be called and he was led out and arrested. This really scared me and the face of my father from this night still haunts me to this day. I also remember my mom crying and feeling sorry about what just happened. The next day I went to school but did not stay long because I was too upset and could not focus in school because of the incident.

When I was around 10 years old, I ended up having my first exposure to pornography through some magazines that were stored away in my house. I had no clue what to feel about these except for that they really aroused me and this set me on a destructive path that I have only recently started to overcome with the blood of Christ. This has become one of the biggest sins that I have been battling, which ultimately stems from pride, lust and coveting. Some of my posts may stem from my struggles and victories in this area. It will be difficult posting these, but I hope that by doing this that I will help show others the power of God working in my life and have them see that by truly trusting in him and putting their faith in him alone, that they can claim victories as well. As long as our focus is on the Lord during our struggles, then we will not be focusing on the temptation, but on him who has already defeated it and it will lose it grip on us.

The hardest year in school that I ever had was my 5th grade year. This would be the time that I struggled the most with these movements and anxieties that I had no clue what they where or had any control over. The teacher seemed to have it out for me and all the work seemed to be hard, no matter how much I tried to succeed. The best part of the year from my memory, would have to have been going to Camp Wahsega. Participating in the activities and hearing the ghost stories helped to make a hellish year a little easier to swallow. After my 5th grade year, I started off the year still struggling and after my teacher had to ask the class where the "owl" noises were coming from, my mom decided to have me see a doctor to see what was wrong with me. I ended up being diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, OCD and ADHD. I have found out that Tourette Syndrome is a nervous system (neurological) disorder that starts in childhood, though it is hereditary. It is characterized by multiple physical (motor) tics and at least one vocal (phonic) tic. Some of the tics that I remember having at the time included an owl sound, moving my head to the side trying to move the hair out of my face (even when I got my head shaved), trying to straighten my back right leg as I walked and having to touch every wall that I walked by. I was unsure exactly at that time what was truly wrong with me, but tried to live the best I could with it. How will I face life after having now being diagnosed? I will continue the story in my next post. Take Care and God Bless.